"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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