Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
