grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
