It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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