She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
the raccoons are back...
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