I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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