yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
