margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
