it wasn't lemon gatorade
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
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I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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