also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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