dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
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Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
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It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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