Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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