You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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