Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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