so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
