Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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