her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
