I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
