And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
