I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
