There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
