I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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