Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
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Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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