i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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