I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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