Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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