He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize