im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
