Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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