I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.