if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
