a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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