So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize