just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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