I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?