so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
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we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
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So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.