Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just found puke in my bra..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.