I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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