is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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