She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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