i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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