I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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