Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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