it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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