thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize