Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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