its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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