I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize