hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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