dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager