Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
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I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.