no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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