Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
