; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
