I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
