what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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