Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
