I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
