just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
