Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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