My friends, they love my intelligence
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize