if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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