I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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