i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just want to make out with him forever
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
