Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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